Rally the Troops

UPDATE 4:23 pm - I've decided enough is enough. The eating, the over-spending, self-indulgent bullsh*t has to stop. It's self-destructive, and I've participated in that game for far too long, my friends. Tonight at PT will be my own personal, symbolic gesture to say, "good riddance!" to the past two days of insanity. I don't know what fueled this behavior, but how I was treating it is obviously not the answer. I'm digging deep for this turn around. Tonight might hurt.

.........................................

I need a swift kick in the pants. Seriously.

Since Sunday I've been in bad mood central. Monday night at PT, I felt like it was quite possibly time for my body to quit me. It was so not havin' it.

Tuesday I was "sick" and didn't go to work.

Wednesday was freakin' awesome. I was productive, excelled at work, went to church & crashed early.

Hello, Thursday, bringer of doom and McDonald's Happy Meals. Oops.

I'm in a major crankypants funk. I realize this and only have myself to blame. It gets worse: Major shopping spree including ridiculous shoes. And while I did need shoes, no one *needs* incredibly high, leather patchwork heels that make my toes cry or suede Steve Madden booties with thick ribbon laces.

*sigh* Commence with the floggings.

**at least I'm blogging about it. I know I'm in dangerous depression waters when I won't even mention my low moods...

Personal Training Day 8

Holy cow.... I've lived through 8 sessions already?! *Pats self on back*

I promise a proper posting later, but I'm off to PT in about 15 minutes. I'm feeling a little jumpy and shaky and not sure why that is. I hope it doesn't affect my performance tonight. I mean, srsly, my hands are shaking. Very strange. I think my sugar is berserk.

I have some NSV to report too! I might not be seeing the numbers drop like I want, but I'm seeing it in other places. Can't wait to share.

I'm off to sweat!

x

Out of the Mouths of PTs

So here's the scoop. Yesterday, I lamented about not losing weight despite intense PT sessions, cardio and stellar eating habits. I consumed anywhere from 1500-1800 calories, which to me, is reasonable considering I had been eating over 2000 for months. Srsly. I didn't want my body to think I was starving it, so my plan was to eat less, but not consume drastically less than what my body was used to.

Armed with this info, I asked the Head PT Honcho what the deal was. Here's his take:

1. I'm training very intensely. It's highly possible that my muscles are holding water (wth?)

2. see #1, but add: you've most likely added some lean muscle mass, OR

3. I'm eating TOO MUCH. Wait, what? 1500 calories is too much? He gave me the center's eating plan for women. Depending on serving sizes and choices the caloric range of these plans is 1200-1400 calories.

Um. I'm going to starve to death. I didn't know this was the Biggest Loser: Glam edition.

So I'm going to try his plan and see what happens. If I really do feel like I'm not eating enough, I have no qualms about upping it back to where I was. I'm not in this business to starve. I'm in it to be healthy.

He was very supportive, regardless of his quest to see my ribs jutting out from my body (kidding.) He explained that any time I'm feeling frustrated or discouraged to pop in and see him, and we'd reevaluate. I'm due to be weighed and measured in a week, so I'll definitely be talking to him then.

In other news, I rocked PT last night -- air chairs, bosu ball crunches, bag flips, major arm work, balance and stability exercises, and duel muscle group exercises. Like I said, ROCKSTAR!

I Am Not a Loser

UPDATED to add: I'm heading to PT in a few and I am PUMPED up. I think my caloric intake needs some tweaking. Definitely need to add more protein and veggies to my mostly vegetarian diet. 'Tis true, how I manage to be mostly a vego is a mystery unto myself, but I rarely eat meat. My weekly goal will be to add more veggies and protein calories and see if that helps any... Here I go!

.....

Well, that was the most anticlimactic weigh in EVAH!

Seriously? I lost nothing. Nada. Zero. Normally, I'd be all, "whatevs" new week and all that, but if you recall, I didn't weigh in last week due to my visitor.

So I expected at least some sort of loss. Sure I'm upset. In fact, that's an understatement, but it's scientifically impossible that I haven't lost any body fat (i.e. weight). For two reasons:

1. I've been working out harder & more this month than I have in months.

2. I'd need to be eating *AT LEAST* 2,731 calories a day to MAINTAIN my current lard.

I can tell you right now with my hand on a stack of Bibles that there is no way I'm eating that much daily. In fact, on my highest caloric day I've only hulked it up to 1,800 calories.

So what's the deal, yo?

I feel better having posted the reasoning behind this inconclusive scale number, but I'm still pissed. Hopefully, by tonight's PT session my mentality will be back in killer mode & I'll be out of this "stupid scale" funk!

Happy Monday!

I am the Punch Line

My theme song (for the time being) -- Going the Distance!


Did you ever hear the joke about the hyper, enthusiastic gal that took a muscle relaxer too close to her personal training session?

No?

Hmmm, must be because it just happened to me yesterday!

I'm such a moron sometimes. I've been having some neck pain, for oh, I don't know, about 8 months and decided to finally go to the doctor. Enter muscle relaxers stage left. I popped one about 11:00 a.m. thinking it would wear off by the time my PT session rolled around. NOT SO MUCH! My muscles were absolutely, positively worth jack last night. Even my mantra: "The only easy day was yesterday" didn't work! In fact, my muscles actually laughed at me in the form of quivering, threatening to fall right out from underneath me. I was a hot mess. Even walking felt like a choir. Obvs, I won't be doing that ever again!

.........

I feel like a mega frumpy bunny today. I tried on some old 14's hoping I'd at least be able to get them buttoned, but NOoOooooO! Couldn't even get them buttoned. I was so bummed. I've been working my tail off in PT now for three weeks. Why am I not a size 8 yet?!

Oh, it doesn't work like that? NOW you tell me! But in all seriousness I am feeling a bit blue. Perhaps it's the changing of the seasons or perhaps I just have delusional ideas about what I can accomplish in three weeks. Yeah, I think it's the last one...

BUT not everything is pooey today: My sister joined my gym! Aw, heck, yeah! Now I have a partner to sweat it out with me during Power Pump and yoga. Not to mention countless minutes on the elliptical and evil stair machine, which KatieO lovingly refers to as Satan. Now you know.

So let's be proactive today, shall we? Let's turn that blue into gold: no emo eating (hehe), no extra doses of caffeine, and absolutely no bingeing tonight while relaxing and watching the TV perfection that is Ugly Betty.

Have a fab weekend, peeps. See you on the other side, and hopefully, with awesome weigh in numbers!

x

The Big Reveal

Happy Hump Day, fellow losers!

By now, if you're a regular reader, you know that I liked to remain cloaked in mystery... I don't post many photos of myself, or heck, even my real name! Obviously, I still have a lot of issues when it comes to people I know *knowing* the real me. Like they can't take one good look at me and know that I'm a chunk, but that's different than what I do on here. I open my heart & pour out my soul. I connect with people. Which I'll admit, is sometimes hard for me to do in real life.

True, I have a close gaggle of friends, but very few of them get to see me down deep in my core: my fears, insecurities, hopes, dreams, craziness!

So that's why the news I mentioned yesterday is a huge deal for me. The owner of the personal training center where I train approached me about being "the face" of the center for a while. Meaning, they want to follow me on my journey, videotape me, and interview me on their local cable access show they host weekly. They'd also post my story and progress on their website.

This is terrifying for a girl who doesn't acknowledge how overweight she is to her friends and family. It's a huge pride thing. Granted, not a lot of people watch local cable access, but trust me, once word gets out, I have a feeling many people will be searching for it.

But for all the reasons why I don't want to do it, there are two HUGE reasons why I'm going to:

1. Accountability. It will be very hard for me to screw up knowing everyone is watching, judging my progress or looking to me for inspiration.

2. FREE personal training! The conditions of the agreement are after I've been working out there for several months and have made considerable progress, then they'll agree to follow my journey in return for free personal training.

Seriously, how can I say no to that?! I can't. So I'm not going to. I'm not sure when this will happen -- in a month? Two months? Not clear on the details yet, but when it happens I'll be sure to let you know! Talk about motivation. If I didn't have any before, I sure do now!

Now for some randomness!

Check out this killer breakfast:

*oats, banana, honey, almonds, raisins = YUM!

One last thing -- I'm planning on working in the TOO TIGHT PANTS at some point. These pants are also going to play a huge role in the Bloggerhood of the Traveling (Not So Fat) Pants. Once I get these bad boys on, they'll be traveling to some other blogging sistah so she can work her way into them. It's an awesome project, no? Thanks, Jen!

Personal Training Day 5 & PROGRESS!

Hello, peeps!

There will not be a weigh in posted for this week as I have a visitor. My mental well-being would rather not take a peek at the scale this week. We'll wait for Mother Nature to finish up her visit & then we'll visit with the scale. Those two do not like each other!

I am a freakin' rock star when it comes to PT. Even when I'm not feeling it, I will force myself to work as hard as I can without injury. What's the point of hiring professionals if you're not gonna push yourself?

I'm expecting to see a loss next week. I've been working very hard, but to be honest, I won't fall apart if I don't drop big numbers. I feel great, and I'm following the PT's plan to the letter.

I even went out of town this weekend to a concert & managed to drink only one alcoholic beverage. Dinner that night was HALF of a cheese ravioli APPETIZER. I didn't even order an entree.

Like I said, Total Rockstar.

p.s. I have some potential EXCITING news for all of you concerning my PT. Like, unbelievably good... Wait and see, my dears. Wait and see...

Gym Swinger: Personal Training Day 3 & 4

As I sit here munching on my baked potato, I thought it would be nice to update y'all on the awesomeness that is my exercise and "diet" regime.

Sure there were a few stumbling blocks, including yesterday's lunch burrito that made my intestines hate me. And let's not forget that 1 glass too many Tuesday night after a workout. All-in-all you could say my behavior has been absolutely normal of any healthy, young woman. Everything in moderation.

Monday night's training was a beast. Hello, donkey kicks on the swiss ball, punching bag flips, and lunges! The soreness was nowhere near as intense this time the following days.

But as with anything in life, I decided to see how the other half live. My friend used her guest pass and took me to her swanky, superawesome gym. Holy cow. I've never seen a nicer locker room in my entire life. And trust me, thanks to sports, exercise, etc. I've been in a lot of locker rooms.

Friend & I did a 20 minute spurt on the elliptical then I scared the poo out of her by dragging her to the weight lifting room. She'd never set foot in this "man only" arena. So I set her up with some exercises and explained some of the machines. And then we dominated the room. From the looks of things, I don't think women ever go into that room!

I was so proud of her. I don't think she's ever done weight training before. Ever! I think she might actually continue even without me there. Girl power!

Tonight is PT day #4. I'm looking to really push myself tonight. I'm feelin' it!

On the Too Tight Pants front: I still don't think they're ready to come out & play, but soon, my friends, soon!

Weigh In Monday

Well, kids, it's official. I rock at losing weight. Well, last week anyway!

Amid a brownie, awesome Mexican, a few drinks, & mama's cooking, I managed to lose....

2 pounds! Zing! I'll take it, tyvm.

Tonight is my third PT session with Hot Trainer. It's only been a week on the fully-committed, 100% hardcore bandwagon, but I already feel healthier, happier, more energized and fit. It's good to be on the bright side.

This weekend I hauled it to the gym for a little cardio on the ol' elliptical machine. I really didn't want to workout, but I pushed myself with my new mantra: The only easy day was yesterday! I lugged it onto the machine, turned up my music, and chugged along. I was really getting into, mostly because I promised myself I only had to do 30 minutes.

Well, the motivation started flowing & I got creative. Thirty minutes was coming fast, but I knew I could keep going. So I started a little challenge. It went a little something like this:

1. Once you hit 30 minutes, keep going until you hit 300 calories burned

2. Once you hit 300 calories, keep going until you hit 3.1 miles

3. Once you hit 3.1 miles, keep going until you hit 350 calories

And then you can STOP. By the time I played this little game, I had stayed on for another 15 minutes. I love being a nut sometimes!

Have a great Monday! See you on the other side of PT!

Oh, one more thing: Huge shout out to two of my fave blogging buddies: POM & Gazelle ran a marathon this past weekend! Congrats, ladies!

Personal Training Day 2 & Before Shots

Happy Friday, y'all!

So let's get this weight loss party started, shall we? No WL party is complete without before pics & weight!

I know I said I broke up with the scale, but since I'm being weighed at the personal training facility, I really don't have a choice. BUT after talking with the trainers about the effects the scale can have on my mental well-being, they've given me tons of great resources dealing with "feeling fat" and the number that shows up on the scale.

So it's with luke-warm indifference that I welcome the scale back into my life. Without further ado, the numbers & the black mail photos:

Starting weight: 233 pounds (please try not to vomit or cry like I almost did!)

Before photos:

If you look closely, behind me on my door is my workout schedule!

Trying not to suck it in for full effect!

I also think it's time for me to re-align my goals and rewards. Too many goals & too many rewards. It was making my head and my bank account dizzy! So here are my new goals, set with the help of my superfreakinawesome trainers.

Goals & Rewards:

5% WL (221 lbs) - New shoes. Heels, not gym shoes!

10% WL (210 lbs) - ipod shuffle

199 lbs - New, fancy gym bag

-50 lbs (183 lbs) - Massage/spa day

-75 lbs (158 lbs) - Sephora trip

140 GOAL - Free personal training, a rockin' bod, happiness, & a spa day!

I didn't include one obvious thing I'm going to need when I lose weight: clothes. That's something that will be a necessary purchase when I lose the chunk. And I do already have a closet full of clothes that I can't fit into. That should keep me clothed until the 183 pound mark.

MANTRA:

Remember when I was trying to come up with a saying to propel me through my workouts? Well, I tried everything last night during PT & nothing was working: "Push it!" "Do it!" "C'mon!" Well, last night my mom & I were watching NCIS: LA and one of the former SEALS repeated the SEAL motto:

"The only easy day was yesterday!"

How true is that of our weight loss efforts & struggles?! I'm now adopting that as my personal mantra when I work out. I'll try it out next time and let you know how it works.

Employing personal trainers has always been the smartest thing I've ever done.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need a hot bath.

Is It Naptime?

I am a hungry, hungry hippo today! I doubt it has to do with the intensity of which I've been working out. My metabolism is not quite that revved up yet.

But can we talk about how tired I am? What is the deal with that?! I've been getting a full 8 hours most nights, but still don't want to drag my arse out of bed. Today is downright painful! I got 9 hours of sleep last night then took a one-hour nap this afternoon! I've always been that girl: the one who's always tired because she stays up too late & eats badly. But now that I've been going to bed earlier and eating better I have no more explanations.

What are some of your tried and true methods for being well-rested?

Tonight is day 2 of personal training! Thank God, my soreness finally went away. Otherwise, I'd be in trouble! Still working on my personal mantra. Narrowing it down. Will divulge soon! Wish me luck for tonight!